Saturday, September 29, 2007

"Loose lips sink ships"

My buddy Roborat confessed in this post that he has been getting leaks from Intel and AMD anonymous readers lately.

I must come clean and confess the same. It is eerie because for the life of me I can't understand why someone would risk their career and livelihood in this way.

Like Roborat, I can't vouch for the authenticity of the content that I receive. I'll leave it up to you to come to your conclusions.


Top Ten Austerity Measures, effective 9/12/2007

10. All non-essential travel is hereby cancelled and must be approved on a case-by-case basis by a senior manager. In case travel is authorized, electronic booking must be made using Priceline's 'I don't care how may legs it takes me, give me the most effin' cheap way to get to my destination' option.

9. Due to the high cost of color toner and glossy photopaper, all Powerpoint use will be restricted for production of roadmaps that will never see the light of day.

8. The employee assistance program will cut its hours of operation from 24/7 to 8:00AM-5:00PM local time. FAB employees, especially those working in the night and graveyard shifts, will not experience the customary level of service they deserve. Please get a hold of your manager, lead, or supervisor immediately if you believe this will be an issue.

7. Given the recent spike in phone calls to Brazil and the Cayman Islands originating from the corporate office, personal phone calls from company telephones are hereby restricted to life-threatening situations only.

6. Effective immediately, former ATI employees located in Canada as well as AMD Saxony employees in Dresden will be paid in US currency.

5. Use of external agencies and expert consultants to write flattering studies of AMD will still be permitted; however, a minimum of five potshots at Intel must be taken instead of the prior three per page, with at least two uses of 'Intel, the global monopolist' and 'AMD values fair and open competition' per page.

4. The legal department will reduce the number of screen writers guild sitcom writers to 5 billable hours per calendar week, except during periods when Intel is scheduled to launch new products or attend high-profile events where up to 10 billable hours per calendar week will be allowed.

3. Director/principal members of the technical staff and above will see a reduction in 'incidental perks' and will be restricted in the number of Intel platforms they may purchase every calendar quarter for personal use.

2. In order to continue to retain and attract the best corporate executive talent and to adequately compensate them and their families, we are hereby eliminating all non director/PMTS and below level restricted stock awards, stock option awards, and Employee Stock Purchase Program for the next four calendar quarters and will re-evaluate re-instituting them pending future business conditions. Stock units/shares already distributed to employees will continue to vest on their normal schedule until further notice.

1. Despite rumors to the contrary, marketing budgets will rise while the engineering budgets will be flat to down in the next four calendar quarters. You Tube will be our preferred marketing tool of choice, subject to restrictions outlined in item 4 above.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

November 12, 2007: Game over

No paid for studies
No 'native quad' or 'tri core' nonsense
No whining
No apologies
No blaming others
No sub-par scaling silicon process
No stumbling
No hissing serpents
No paper launches

On November 12, the GAME WILL BE OVER as we know it